Finances

My Decision Not to have Kids

I am a pretty transparent person. It’s boring to me to make small talk with people. I want to know what your goals and dreams are. Where you want to travel. If money were no object, what would you do? I sometimes find it difficult to talk about the weather or gas prices because I just really don’t care. I would rather talk about things that are important to you or me.

With that being said, someone reached out to my mom recently to ask her if I was planning on having kids. My mom is very aware of where I stand on the matter and she let the person know that having children is not part of my life plan. Maybe no one else has been curious but I don’t mind talking about it so here we go…

I do not want children. As far as I can remember, I’ve never wanted children. I don’t want to offend any mothers out there. It’s just not a desire I’ve ever had. There are a lot of reasons. The first one is that I’m self centered. I like doing my own thing when and how I want. Having a child would prevent a lot of that for several years.  The second reason is that my mom had three hard pregnancies. There is a stillbirth in her past and I almost did not live. I spent the first six months of life on a heart monitor. I do not want to go through that. The third reason is financial. Having a child is expensive. I want to travel. I want to buy a new car. I want to pay off our house. I want to retire early.  All of those things become harder with an extra mouth to feed. That also circles back to reason 1, having a child makes traveling logistically more difficult.

My biggest pet peeve is when people tell me I will change my mind. Or ask me what my husband thinks about it. As if he and I have never had that conversation. A is on board for not having kids. He has 9 nieces and nephews with a 10th on the way. There are plenty of kiddos to dote on when/if we feel the need.  As far as changing my mind, who knows, maybe I will. But I don’t think so. I’m pretty content with being dog and cat mom for little beings that will never talk back and are always down for nap time.

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7 thoughts on “My Decision Not to have Kids

  1. Hi Charli,
    I was the one who asked your mom. I love your blog and am impressed with your planning. I was simply curious as I know that child would turn those plans inside out. I wouldn’t trade mine for anything, more would I judge you in any way for not wanting any. I hope my question was not offensive.
    As for your questions, in the blog, I would certainly travel more if money were no issue. But, we are planning and budgeting for a trip to Hawaii next summer for our anniversary. When you have the chance, I recommend Ireland. It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever been and we will certainly go back. I will probably never retire, but I’m going to enjoy my money while I have it and am young enough to enjoy it 😃

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  2. I totally understand and agree. As you know, I had 4 nieces and nephews so I had my kid fix. I haven’t changed my mind about wanting kids and for the same reasons as you.

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  3. Ditto! I’ve just found your blog and am loving reading through it. I’m in the process of buying my first house (so thanks for the heads up on the costs! still so excited to have my own place) have started a monthly budget to correspond with that and also know I don’t want kids, for similar reasons. I get you on the frustration of being told that I will change my mind, I haven’t changed it in 12 years and even if I do, that’s up to me 😛 thank you!

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    1. Ah I’m so glad you enjoyed reading! Buying a house is scary and exciting. I hope you enjoy the experience. Also I love finding more child free homies. 🙂 glad you’re here!

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